I am not an expert in parenting and this is my first time being a parent but I recently found out that my 8 year old daughter has a crush on a boy in her class. I honestly think I’m in denial somewhat because I still see her as a baby. Obviously, it’s okay for her to like someone in an innocent way. If she smiles at him excessively and gives him a valentine, okay. As long as she is not hiding uder a table kissing him then I am fine.
Looking briefly online, I see mixed responses on this subject. Some people say as early as 7 while others said age 11 for the first crush. I’m assuming that it depends on the child and their emotional development. Boys will naturally have a first crush at a later age simply because they are less emotional than girls. It was funny how a child shows that they are interested in another. Girls will do the goofy notes and phone calls while boys may play rough or tickle someone.
Since my daughter is more of a tomboy she will tickle and play rough instead of the “princess” I love you mushy stuff.
This is a new adventure in my parenting life and I will try my best to talk to her about the appropriate and safe ways to have a crush. My biggest fear is that she will not have the self confidence to say no to a boy when she gets older. She may depend on a boy to make her feel good about herself and that’s where a good child could make a major mistake that will leave a deep scar on their life.
Personally, if I could do it all over again, I would have waited until marriage. I was 19 and unwed when I had my daughter. If I had waited, this would mean that my first child would have been born out of love and I probably would have been able to bond with her so much better. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter so much and I just wish I would have picked a better time in my life. I may not have my own insecurity issues and would have been more confident if I would have waited to have that “first time” and many more.
This society frustrates me because you are considered the “odd ball” if you are still a virgin at age 18. Is anyone aware of the damage that we are doing to ourselves deep down? It may be fun and “feel good” while we’re doing it but at what cost? Honestly, abstinence should be encouraged more and not just by adults telling teens. Teens need to really consider this themselves too. I believe that it would have been worth the wait.
Aw her first crush already! I don’t even remember how young I was since I don’t remember much before 5th grade but 8 does seem young!
I have the same fears, especially when it comes to potentially someday having a daughter.
She learns about relationships by watching you. I know you weren’t always the most confident person so it’s important to try extra hard to help her be more confident because the more she loves herself the less likely she is to be a “people pleaser” and “follow the croud”. I didn’t really feel any pressure to have sex when I was in high school. I had always planned to save myself for marriage, which obviously didn’t happen, but I have no regrets in that department and I did make it all the way to 19, which you’re right, is quite a feat these days. You should stress the importance of waiting till she’s ready and that anyone who pressures her doesn’t really respect her and you have to respect someone to really love them. It’s much better to have a reputation as someone who does what SHE wants in her own time, than to have the reputation of someone who’s easy or a pushover. Sure she may not wait till she’s married, but as long as she feels like she’s ready and isn’t pressured, you can’t really ask for much more than that. You don’t want her to be afraid to disappoint you by having sex before she’s married because you want her to trust you enough to tell you when she starts having sex so you can be responsible and get her on the pill or something. You always want her to know that she can tell you anything and you’ll be there for her to help her and support her, like it or not. That’s how my mom was and I’m super grateful for that.