God Answers Prayers in His Own Way and Time

So I’ve learned this recently today… I was reading our church newsletter and was made aware of a new ministry that provides assistance to single mothers with material items, mentoring, and general help for things like maintenance, etc.  The ministry is called Side by Side and it is expected to launch in early fall. 

I recall back before our newest pastor became our pastor I was invited to a focus group and I had mentioned doing some sort of ministry/small group/interest for single moms.  I didn’t think anyone was listening but possibly God had held that thought in someone’s mind to move on in the future.  It may have not even been me that put that thought in someone’s head but maybe God was listening to me somehow.

I laugh because I’m no longer a single mom but maybe I could possibly be able to help out with the ministry.  I’ve been there, done that.  I know the stresses that single moms face and possibly the guilt they hold inside of them.  The challenges of dating, finding sitters, needing “me” time, wishing the father would just take the kids for a week, the glares you get from strangers, etc.

The ministry would also help families with special needs.  Can you believe it?  Another area I am passionate about.  I don’t consider my daughter to be “special needs” as much now but I do understand the challenges of finding the right daycare, preschool, speech therapist, IEP meetings, behavior management, theraputic support specialists, healthcare, autism, learning disabilities, project DART, early intervention, Allegheny Intermediate Unit, all of that! 

However, I do not have training in counseling, I have an associates degree in business administration… Hmmm!  I have a little experience in social work from an internship in highschool with the Union Aid Society (our hometown assistance). Who knows if I can even get involved but I can’t believe this is finally happening.  For some reason, I did not think our area had a need for this kind of help… maybe they truly do and possibly God could use me somehow someway… maybe.

Taking It Personally

“Taking it personally” this seems to be my life motto however it is a dangerous motto to live by. When you take everything personally it severely limits your ability to try new things or “go that extra mile ‘. You always fear making a mistake or having someone become angry at you. I’m the type of person who we’ll give up at the first sign of disappointment. I’ll put up a stop sign when the traffic light is green because in my mind I see no real reason to try.

It’s a bad thought pattern because I am completely unaware of my own potential and it causes me to prevent myself from setting goals. I’m beginning to learn that this is a horrible way to think. It is probably a good thing that I realize this because that’s when I’ll decide to change. Being totally unaware of your negative behaviors will continue to keep you” stuck in a funk”. At least realizing them will put you on the road to improvement. You may end up in the slow lane but proceeding with caution is probably a good thing until you can muster up enough confidence in yourself to merge in to the faster lane.

One thing that I noticed with change in my own life is that if I move too fast or put way too much effort in to the change I’ll burn out and the thought of proceeding with the change makes me sick to my stomach. I struggle slightly with depression so on good days I’m all for making a change but on my lower days I lose total confidence in myself.

I’m glad that I’m realizing that negative thinking is getting annoying. How long can someone live in a low negative mood without jumping off a bridge? I don’t like the days where I feel doomed and hopeless. Those days actually make me sick. I do wish that the days where I’m in a better mood would come more often. Then I could really consider making some significant changes within myself.

Because I do believe in God, I will be patient. It would be great if I had a steady mood and could do everything without getting tired or crabby but I realize I’ve been like this for a long time. Possibly since grade school. So I’m depending on God to help me through these challenges and I realize it won’t happen instantly. I see small improvements here and there so I’m hopeful although there are those days where I wish I could change instantly but I know it would just feel fake.

Since today I was in one of my good moods I will end this post by saying “this day went well and I thank God for every minute of it.” If tomorrow does not go so well… I’ll thank God for giving me another day to live, love, and learn.